we're livin' it up

i changed my mind. tumblr will be for some fun, this is for real talk. new blog about life before spring break is over. but right now, i'm going to go have a life instead of sit in my room and blog.

i hope you all have a faaantastic day.

moving!

welll, i'm moving from here to tumblr. so if you actually ever read this, go to the link at the end of this post, click it, and follow me. it'll be fun. i promiss. 

http://lilpnoman.tumblr.com/

oh. also, there is a link there to here if you ever want to come and read any of my old blogs. 

i hope you are all living your life and not caring what other people think. ;)

it's been a long time;

i've been playing a lot of halo lately.

you can call me now straight from me blog! it's pretty darn awesome, so i think you should try it sometime.

thats all.

sweet deal.

i don't have a title.

happy 4th of july? yeah..

soo..this could either be an optimistic blog, or a pessimistic one. i haven't really decided yet. i mostly like to be optimistic, but i'm in a pretty bad mood right now. don't ask me why. maybe it's just 'cause summer is a bummer. in my eyes anyway. i can't stand it. there's absolutely nothing to do. also, i've recently discovered i have no friends. which is alright with me, i don't really need fake friends. one or two awesome friends is greatt with me. so i guess i'm set, right? yeah.. i just need to get out of here. so while i was thinking about that, i decided that i'm going to have some of this happy, and some of it sad. so you get the best of both worlds. but you could probably go without the pessimistic world. i guess that's too bad for you though. i have to have some way to get stuff off my chest.

lets start off with the happy. then the middle will be a little bit more sad, and i'll end on a happy note. sweet. i've spent the last two days at my grandpa and grandma's house. and if there's one thing i've decided, it's that i want to be just like my grandpa when i get old. he's the nicest, most interesting guy i know. and never runs out of things to talk about. even when he's the way he is. i love him. and i don't love very many people. i don't hug my in-laws, i figure they have to earn it. and i don't think they have. brenna calls me a jerk 'cause of things like that. but in my head it just makes sense. it's just nobody ever takes the time to listen.

on the same subject of family..i feel like i don't fit in with any of them. they all like sports. and me? i like music. and art. ya know, those kind of things. even though i guess i'm very naturally gifted with sport things (i know, i know), at least that's what the rest of my family says. and they all push me to do sports. one of these days i'm just going to explode. hopefully i don't, but i can just tell it's going to happen. and on the note of nobody listening, from the last part, i wish people did. i want to be heard. i want to be noticed. but most of all, i want to make a difference. and how am i supposed to do that when nobody ever listens? someday, i'll find a way to force people to notice. i will make a difference.

i don't know how to end this happily. have you ever watched meet the robinsons? greattt movie. i highly recommend you watch it. maybe that's what i need. too bad i don't have it, and i deleted it. this is sad. ahh! happy ending; almost forgot. i'll download it again and i'll be happy. you should go watch it too. ;).

i miss you.

he melts whenever she speaks;

i went for the longest walk today.

every time i look into her eyes;

i see a little bit more sunshine.

feel a little bit more like me;

instead of who i turned out to be.

wouldn't trade it for the world.

that's all.

my heart is with you;

i couldn't sleep until 6 this morning.

i decided to go for a drive today. i don't have my license, but i was home alone and had nothing to do. so i drove around my country block. as i was driving i looked around at the fields, and in one of the fields, just one tree was standing. just a single tree in the middle of a whole entire field. and i couldn't figure out why when the farmers decided to cut down the whole wooded area, they decided to keep that one tree there.

when i got home i started thinking about why farmers would even cut down that whole "forest" just for a field. i mean, i understand food is important, and so is making a living if you're that farmer, but i'm pretty sure air is more important. there's plenty of room in other places for farmland where you wouldn't even have to cut down all those trees (except one).

and then, i started thinking about cars and technology. don't get me wrong, i love all kinds of technology. but things like cars, and expressways, and all these things that don't have a real purpose except for polluting, i don't love. people can live without cars, trust me, they did it for thousands of years. and without cars, no expressways to cut through the land. next time your going through a rural area, look around. it's beautiful. and us, as people, are destroying it. just because we want things now.

but then i started thinking about that tree again. suppose it grew out of the ground after the farmers plowed the field. maybe it was trying to make a stand; trying to tell the farmers they were ruining the way things are supposed to be. maybe it was trying to get people to realize the way they're living is wrong, and that they're headed in the complete opposite direction that they should be.

or maybe, it was just trying to be different. and if that's the case, i look up to that tree. i respect anyone or anything that dares to be different in this world. this scary world.

i pray that someday i have the guts to be just like that tree. different.

..or maybe it was just trying to be a tree.

i'm not like them;

i need a break.

this is going to be a just because blog. just because somebody i don't think i've ever talked to told me that they liked my blog. it made my day. and i just wanted to share. i'm glad this is giving enjoyment to more than two people. i think i've said it before, but all i really want to do is make a difference. so you could go look back if you wanna know more about that topic.

so..it's summer, and i haven't done anything. nothing. is it a bad thing? not onee bit. summer is just what i needed. almost. i just feel disconnected from everybody. and i really hate it. lately i've been thinking about all the people that i've lost contact with, and i want to say sorry. i doubt any of them will read this, but i just get caught up in things. sorry. i wish things didn't end up the way they are.

i feel like i need a topic to write about. but i really can't think of anything relevant right now. so i'm going to post this, just because. and i hope everybody reading this has an awesome day. i love you all.

i cleaned all day today.